Saturday, July 4, 2009

Anachronism Should Be Annihilated

I can't stand gross inaccuracy in movies that pass themseleves off as "historical." It is one thing to take creative license when it is completely obvious that you are doing so, but a lot of children and dumb people watch movies. I worry that that impressionable minds will wrongly assimilate the ridiculous as fact.

I am not as concerned with the little things. For example in Saving Private Ryan, "When James Ryan destroys the SdKfz 251 with his bazooka, they identify it as belonging to a Reconnaissance Platoon of the 2nd SS Division, which didn't reach the front until June 16 and then only on the Mortain area. Capt. Miller died as written in his grave, on June 13" (IMDB). That doesn't bother me. It is the stuff that would lead to a fundamental misunderstanding of the story of mankind. Tonight I had the misfortune of watching most of a movie called 10,000 B.C., which we can assume from the title is set at that time. It contains what might be the worst history in the history of movies. Here are just a few of my observations:
  • Men riding horses - domestication of the horse didn't happen until 4,000 BC at the absolute earliest, riding horses like the ones shown, 2,000-2,500 BC more likely
  • Metal weapons - The bronze Age started in c. 3,000 B.C. The Stone age (Neolithic) started c. 9,500 BC, people would have been using the most basic tools at this time and definitely not smelting bronze. The weapons look more like steel to me anyway which would be a further several thousand years down the road.
  • Stirrups - they were not invented until 300-400 AD in China and didn't make it to Europe until the 7th-8th Century.
  • Cloth clothing - Cotton was first used around 3,000 B.C. Linen may go as far back as 8,000 B.C., still at least 2,000 years out of whack.
  • A freaking sailboat?!?? - Earliest sail c. 3,200 B.C.
  • Corn in Africa, WTF? Never mind that they went from mountains in what had to be Europe or maybe Anatolia to Jungle with Bam-fucking-boo to Africa in a very short period of time but then they find Africans with Corn there. Corn came from America. No kernel of corn would reach any of the three continents this movie seems to occur on until the 16th century A.D. at the latest.
  • Pyramids?!?! - The first pyramids were built in Egypt c. 2600 B.C
  • Domesticated Mamoths???!!!??? - Really?
This movie is about as factually accurate as the Flintstones, but I worry that it might "look real" to all the ignorant persons of the movie watching public. They may take it at face value as an accurate representation of history.

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home