Cavalcade of Products Reviewed (Mostly Beer)

I took the entire week off this week which has afforded me time for both drinking and shopping. I will of course share the results with you now.

#1 Bud Light Golden Wheat

I saw a billboard for this beer on my way to work one morning. I’m normally not a big fan of light beer, since I like beer that tastes like beer, but when I was at my local grocery store I thought “what the heck.”

I thought the first sip was pretty good. The second and third sips changed my mind. It is just another light beer. Light beer usually tastes like club soda with two tablespoons of beer added to it. Bud Light Golden Wheat tastes like club soda with two tablespoons of wheat beer added to it. You cam use that recipe to make light beer yourself at home.

I give it one bottle cap out of five.

#2 Hanes Cushion Crew Socks

I needed socks. They protect my feet, but not as much as shoes do. Most of my white non-business casual socks were all stretched out or had holes in them. This package of new socks didn’t have either of those problems. I noticed something mysterious about the packaging though.

Resealable bag? The socks come in essentially in a Ziplock style sandwich bag. Why? “Oh I’ve removed one pair of socks, let me reseal this package so they don’t spoil.” Do they require refrigeration? No expiration date was listed on the package, but now I wonder.

As socks, they seem to be fine.

I give them one Sock out of two for goofy packaging.

#3 Sam Adams Winter Lager

I guess I just wanted to try a different beer. I am always wary of Sam Adams beers because that Jim Koch guy is a hop fiend. Those commercials where he is “diving into the hops” tell no lies because Sam Adams Boston Lager is like socking on a sack of hops. The box promised “winter spices” like cinnamon or ginger or something.

I thought it was ok. It wasn’t as hoppy as the Boston Lager, but wasn’t anything to write home about. It was sort of a bock kind of thing. If you put it in a fancy glass and stick your nose in the glass you can get a little of that winter spice thing, but taste wise it isn’t that distinct. There’s probably better beer for the price.

I couldn’t come up with a cute or illustrative picture.

I give it three hops sacks out of five.

I Control the Weather

It is raining outside right now and I know why. Scientists may try to feed you some cock and bull story about low pressure systems and high pressure systems, warm air, cold air, and the Jet stream. I know that to be nonsense.

The ancient Greeks believed Winter was caused when Persephone, the embodiment of fertility spent a mandatory six months in the underworld every year part of an arrangement with Hades who had tricked her into marrying him. When she was above ground everything was warm and nice, when she was underground everything was cold and dead. Apparently I am the cause of a similar phenomenon.

When I am at work, shackled to various electronic devices under dim flickering flourescent lights the sun shines outside in a beautiful cloudless azure sky. Birds sing and flowers bloom so long as I dwell in a joyless catacomb of aging office furniture. On the those rare occasions that I am allowed out of the prison of my livelihood clouds gather and the sun flees the sky specifically to avoid me.

I don’t know if the story of Persephone is true. It does sound a bit far fetched, but I have never been to Greece. I do know that around here at least, I make the weather.

My Week Off in November